Letting Go of Getting it "Right"

This is a guest post from friend & life coach Jess Muhlbier of Life Ninja- with whom we are partnering for our upcoming Coach Series. Still a few spots left in class! 


do you ever fear making the 'wrong' decision?

We humans like to figure it out, analyze the details and be certain that X will lead to Y. Notice how life doesn't really work like that? 



Allow me to share from my life. I am dating someone who lives in a different city than I do and the question "is this right?" comes up for me a lot. Will this work out? Are we really committed to the same things? The list can go on, believe me. And the familiar desire to "figure it all out" kicks into high gear the minute I board the airplane. 

The thing is -- I will never figure it out.

I will never know how it will end up in three months or ten years from now. Sure, I can predict, pray, hope, wish, cross my fingers, doubt, read my horoscope more closely...all of which MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. 

Here is what I can do that leaves me with more power, freedom and self-expression in my relationship. I can ask, what am I committed to? What is really important to me? When I am crystal clear on what's important to me in a relationship - partnership, communication, love and affection, fun and adventure - I am then able to take action! I'm able to take on what matters to me as a way of being -- I can be communicative, loving, affectionate, fun and adventurous. And when I'm being what works for me in a relationship I can then invite him to explore what he is committed to in a relationship. 

From @jessmuhlbier on Instagram 

From @jessmuhlbier on Instagram 

And when we're clear on our commitments we're freed up from 'figuring it out'. We're able to dance and choose what works for us, moment to moment. 

What are you dealing with in life that you're struggling to figure out and solve? Can you explore what's important to you in this area and take actions that are aligned? 

Here it is as a simple formula: 

1. Ask yourself, what am I committed to? What is really important to me?
2. What actions - as a way of being - can I take on right now?

Give up getting it right and take on choosing what you're committed to in life. 

Upward into 2016! 

To learn more about Jess, check out her website or join us (& her!) in our upcoming series.